what pollution could do to the earth
There I saw it. There was a big green truck dumping out garbage in to the green, polluted gas water with tires swimming in it." Wow that is crazy how they can do that to the environment," I said to myself.
I walked myself to the dance studio to get some practice time in. I'm thinking that most likely that there was going to be dancers in there.
"What!" I yelled. There was no girls and boys in there. Then in about 5 min. I heard someone scream. I looked outside and there was about ten buildings on fire.
Then I woke up.
your story doesn't really flow as well as it could and the prompt word is dancer not dancers but great story i like your twist ending.
ReplyDeletei really like your story i think you did very well good job
ReplyDeleteYou need to capitalize the words on your title. I think you need to make your ending a bit longer because it ends very fast. Good job this week.
ReplyDeleteGreat beginning to your story as it hooks the readers attention. Work on the ending as it seems abrupt. Be sure to use the feedback given to you by your peers as there are some other good suggestions to help improve your writing. It is also helpful to read your story out loud to a peer or an adult as you will pick up on sentences that need some revision. Spend the time editing and revising.
ReplyDelete