My dog Niko's story
"Mom come here something is happening to Niko!" She was shocked to see that my dog Niko was laying on the ground with her eyes closed.
"Whats happening I said to mom
"She must be sick! i'll call the vet." While mom called the vet I lied on the floor with Niko. when I got to the vet I laced my hands together with my mom.
"Whats going to happen to him mom?." I said in a very worried voice. The doctors came outside with very bad news. My dog Niko had a really bad problem. She had cancer. The doctor said that she had leg cancer. Then came the funeral.
I'm just confused on the last sentence and just be careful with your punctuations. Your story was pretty good.
ReplyDeleteYou need an apostrophe after what before the s, and you also need a closing quotation and a question mark when you are asking what is happening. Capitalize your I in I'll, and you also need another apostrophe after what and before the s when you want to know what is going to happen to Niko. You need a comma after him. You probably want to put a period after news. Remember to put a period after funeral.
ReplyDeleteI really like your your story and how it has some meaning, but the end is kinda confusing.
ReplyDeleteBe sure to use the feedback given to you by your peers as they have some great suggestions to fix your punctuation. What a sad ending. The only part that jumped too much was how there was a funeral all of a sudden.
ReplyDelete