The amazing save
"Splash!" I was looking at the children jumping off the diving board. It was the worst job that I ever had in a long time. It was like watching paint dry, Life guard. But then the day got more interesting. Later that day I Heard a scream. I looked to the other side of the pool and there was a little girl just keeping her head out of the water.
"Plop" her head went in the water. I got off the stool in a flash. I dove in the water and grabbed the kid. I swam her to safety. It seemed like it was the end of her.Then I heard a sound, Sirens.
I never saw that girl at the pool ever again.
"Plop" her head went in the water. I got off the stool in a flash. I dove in the water and grabbed the kid. I swam her to safety. It seemed like it was the end of her.Then I heard a sound, Sirens.
I never saw that girl at the pool ever again.
You need capitals in your title and instead of saying it was my worst job, you could say it was the worst job. Also, you made 2 typos on the third line. The ending of your story is funny.
ReplyDeleteyou have a couple mistakes and try leaving more mystery about you being a life guard, people will figure it out. But overall i like your story nice ending :)
ReplyDeleteI like the end of your story;) You have a few easy mistakes that you can easily catch if you read it over yourself. (ex. missing capitals and a spelling mistake on the word "of".)
ReplyDeleteAlso your font goes big, small, big, so you might want to fix that up. Great story though!
ReplyDeleteIn your story, you have a sentence, and then you say 'life guard.' It's not capitalized and the sentence isn't finished. You are capitalizing random words and not capitalizing the start of your sentences. Your sentences towards the end are a bit short and choppy, and they don't flow. Your idea is really unique, though!
ReplyDeleteI think the promt was, but later that day. I think you don't need quotation marks on the splash because no one was speaking. I like the ending of your story.
ReplyDelete