Wednesday 18 May 2016

100wcweek#18

I snuck down stairs in complete SILENCE trying not to wake up my parents. I couldn't sleep so I decided to get a ORANGE. I grabbed it from the fridge and started to eat it at the coach and watch TV. As I was watching I heard a big THUNDER strike. I looked outside and there was no clouds in the sky.Then my TV shut off. "Crack!" There was someone in my yard! I decided that I would ignore it and go to bed. The next morning I decided I will go in the pool. I took off my PYJAMAS and put on my suit. I jumped in and SWAM. But then I realized that the water was red! I jumped out and went inside. When I noticed I haven't seen my family the whole day.
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4 comments:

  1. Negative Zero19 May 2016 at 20:55

    I think maybe you could make the first day and the day after somehow connected. I'm just confused on some parts of your story like when you said that the water is red. You also started your sentences with I's so maybe you could change it. But your story was good overall !

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  2. Batman20 May 2016 at 07:58

    I like your story. It was a little confusing at the end, when you said I haven't seen my family the whole day. Also, you misspelled "Coach" it should be "couch". Good story though.

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  3. Unknown20 May 2016 at 13:48

    Good story but there's over 100 words and it's kinda confusing and spelt coach it should be couch

    ReplyDelete
  4. jjmonkey20 May 2016 at 14:21

    i really like your story but there are some words to change like i started to eat it at the couch maybe change it to on the couch.

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